18| Self Love and Self Acceptance

In Ep 16 of the podcast, we talked about healing from the effects of internalized racism and inferiority.  In this episode, we'll continue the conversation by diving into the healing process by uncovering the concepts of self-love and self-acceptance.  These terms, especially self-love, are the sort of terms we commonly hear thrown around within the wellness space, but it can be hard to know what they mean in a tangible way.  So in this episode, we'll discuss the meaning behind these terms and tease out ways to tangibly incorporate these concepts into our lives.  Plus, journal prompts!

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Transcript

TaReon Jael: 0:02

Welcome to the Black Woman in Bloom podcast, a semimonthly podcast designed to inspire Black women to honor the strength and beauty within by exploring mental health topics. I'm your host TaReon Jael, a Certified Health Educator and Medical Lab Scientist. For more information, please visit blackwomaninbloom.com. While I hope you enjoy listening to and learning from the podcast, please remember that it is not intended to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed healthcare provider. Welcome to episode 18. In episode 16 of the podcast, we talked about healing from the effects of internalized racism and inferiority. In this episode, I want to continue the conversation by diving into the healing process by uncovering the concepts of self-love and self-acceptance. These terms, especially self-love, are the sort of terms we commonly hear thrown around within the wellness space. And while they sound good, it can be hard to know what they mean in a tangible way. So let's get into the meaning behind these terms and tease out ways that we can tangibly incorporate these concepts into our lives. Let's start out by defining self-love. Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. I want us to sit with the part about self-love growing from our actions. Self-love grows when we support our growth. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin the process of accepting others. We accept our strengths and weaknesses. We feel less need to explain or apologize for our shortcomings. We have compassion for ourselves as human beings, and we are more centered in our life's purpose and values. Once we've reached a place of self-love, then we can step into a place of self acceptance. When we're self accepting, we're able to embrace all parts of ourselves, not just the positive, more esteemable parts, because self acceptance is unconditional. We're in a place where we can recognize our weaknesses or limitations, but this awareness does not interfere with our ability to fully accept ourselves. Psychologist, Tara Brach says self-acceptance is an agreement with ourselves to appreciate, validate, and support ourselves as we are knowing that we are also free to change things if it makes sense." Self acceptance is here and now oriented, not future oriented. Self acceptance is about already being okay with no qualifications period. It's not that we ignore or deny our faults or frailties. It's just that we view them as irrelevant to our basic acceptability. We can cultivate more self-love and self-acceptance by drawing inspiration from other Black women who love and celebrate themselves unconditionally. In 2020 professional makeup artist and beauty influencer, Jackie Aina posted a photo collage of herself on Twitter, celebrating her black features, specifically her nose by adding the caption"Black nose check" with a heart emoji. Her post quickly inspired other Black women to respond to her tweet with photos of themselves with various captions. Some women shared stories of how over time they've come to love and accept their black features while others confessed to still working on loving themselves. The mood of that viral tweet reminds me of the spirit of the Black Is Beautiful Movement. Picture this it's a cold night in Harlem on January 28th, 1962, outside of the Purple Manor Nightclub. You and your friends are standing in the midst of a bustling crowd. Everyone, including you and your friends, are all dressed in your best attire. You're here because one of your friends called to tell you about a fashion show that she had seen earlier that night. She said it was so good and you missed it, but you're in luck. You see the show was so popular that the creators decided to have an Encore. So she's going back to see it again, and you should come with her. So now you're here with your friends, eagerly waiting to see the new fashion show called Naturally'62. When the doors finally open you eagerly rush in and take your seats. When the lights dim, the crowd instantly starts cheering and then you hear a drum beat. And when the lights gradually come up to illuminate the catwalk, you see the models emerge, these models are different from any models you've ever seen, because these women are Black and full figured women in chocolate shades, much darker than any of the models you've seen in any magazine, including the models regularly featured in Jet and Ebony. These models are wearing their Afro hair out with pride and their clothes feature designs and details inspired by fashion from Lagos, Accra, and Nairobi. This fashion show, Naturally'62 was organized by the African Jazz Art Society and Studios, which consisted of a group of creatives, including photographer, Kwame Brathwaite, and his brother, Elombe Brath. The models call themselves the Grandassa models. Grandassa was derived from the term Grandassaland, which the Black nationalist, Carlos Cooks had used previously to refer to Africa. This show sparked the Black Is Beautiful Movement, which changed the way Black people were represented and viewed themselves forever. The spirit of the movement draws inspiration from connecting to our African heritage, traditions, and ancestry. Our features connect us to our ancestors and to our sisters and brothers across the diaspora. And through this connection, we can find self-love and self-acceptance, we can stay mindful of who we are and act on this knowledge. So going back to the definition of self-love, it's a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our growth. To me, that sounds like self care. You'll love yourself more. When you take better care of your needs, self-love involves nourishing yourself daily through healthy activities like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, healthy social interactions, and setting boundaries. We can also incorporate self-love and self-acceptance by forgiving ourselves. And remember that there are no failures, only lessons learned. Now I want to share some journal prompts. You can also find a copy of the journal prompts in the show notes. The first prompt is how can you tangibly meet your insecurities, mistakes and flaws with grace, acceptance and love today? What would that look like in action? The second prompt, if you struggle with self care, what are the top reasons you neglect taking care of yourself? What's one thing you've done. No matter how small that you're proud of yourself for. And lastly, what's one thing you love about your heritage. How can you celebrate that today? Self-love and self-acceptance are about affirming who we are unconditionally as Black women. Through this process, you can have the courage to embrace all that makes you you, and just like theGrandassa models we can love and accept ourselves just as we are. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. Be sure to head to blackwomaninbloom.com/episodes/18 to read the show notes. If you're not already go ahead and follow the podcast@blackwomaninbloom and follow me@tareonjael.